Changing the Water

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its
thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Changing the water. That's what this whole thing is about. Doug Phillips has managed to keep everyone quiet so far about his hypocrisy, but I am here to change the water. I have the opportunity to help protect others and I have the responsibility to expose unrepentant abuse. Sometimes the water has to boil quite violently and for a good length of time before it is changed into what it should be, but I'm here to change the water.

New Blog for Exposing Tyranny

I would like to thank Ministry Watchman and especially Charles Fisher for being willing to take my story to the internet and stand behind me and my family in exposing Doug Phillips. Both the Watchman and Mr. Fisher have spent many hours working on our behalf and I am eternally grateful to them.

Ministry Watchman sought to protect our identities because they knew of the serious abuses that we'd already suffered as a family. They knew that by telling our story it would bring retaliation on us and probably on them as well. Doug Phillips' employees and ex-interns at Vision Forum decided, however, that the world should know who we are anyway. The original intent therefore of having Ministry Watchman tell the story for us is now gone.

Therefore, it has been mutually decided that our story might be able to be handled better in small, bite-sized pieces written by me, making it more personal and allowing for important details to be covered in depth. Mark will continue to provide commentary about our story on his new blog. Ministry Watchman and Charles Fisher still stand behind us in their desire to see the ecclesiastical abuses of Doug Phillips, as well as any other ecclesiastical tyrants, exposed. As our pastor said in his sermon today, there are times to be gentle, there are times to be firm, and there are times to really lay it on the line. Exposing sin of this nature demands that we lay it on the line.

In the interest of keeping this story separate from the intended purpose of this blog, I have set up a new blog for the sole purpose of telling my story. I will be starting over again from the beginning and telling the story in small, bite-sized pieces several times a week. The flavor of the comments there should be a little different, as I have a different comment etiquette. Be sure to read that before you post a comment. I will graciously answer all charitable questions and expect commenters to remember that this is a site for Christians. Be sure to read the "Why We Are Here" page as well to set some background. The new blog has the same name, but is hosted by Wordpress, so it should be easy for you to find! See you there! (This blog will remain under its intended initial purpose, for those who are interested.)

Get a Life?

This is in reply to Get a Life (comment on Ministry Watchman): If you were falsely accused and not charged with anything specific, yet told that your soul was in peril until you repented, and tried to reconcile for two years, would you just get a life? If your reputation was so tarnished, when you had tried harder than probably any wife you know, to the extent that all your friends now turn their backs on you and your children even in public, would you just get a life? If you knew the truth about someone and that person was leaving a trail of hurt all over the world, and you were the only one who could warn others of this potential threat, would you just get a life? If you were "imprisoned" for years with no charges, false accusations, and no trial, would you just get a life?

I have a responsibility before God and man in this situation. If it was just me, or even just my family and me, that were affected by Doug Phillips, I would forgive and "get a life." I have forgiven Doug, but that does NOT relieve him of his responsibility to repent. I know of many people who have been hurt by Doug personally and some by his teachings. My story is not unique and therefore I have a responsibility to warn others who might be swayed by his very charismatic personality.

I want to make it very clear that I bear no ill will toward Doug and Beall or anyone at BCA. I have years of fond memories with everyone there, although there were some difficult times as well. I am not a quitter. When the going gets tough, I will do everything possible to work through the situation. You can verify that by knowing that I did more than was even asked to be a joyful, submissive wife to an extremely angry husband for 15 years, off and on. I did not quit, even though many Christians counseled me to leave him. I am reaping the fruit of those 15 years of hard labor now, and I am very grateful for a husband who dearly loves the Lord now and has since repented.

At BCA, each man signed a covenant of membership. Somehow this bound the whole family. Doug is very open about how he feels regarding "covenant" and feels that a church "covenant" is a lifelong commitment, just like marriage should be. I believe you already know this, though, Get a Life, because you are in the community. Ask some of the people who tried to leave BCA how easy it was to leave. You already know who I'm talking about – and there's plenty of those folks. We had 25 families leave in less than two years. With only just over 20 families left, that should tell you something.

You also know as well as I do that the churches in the community are vastly different from your mainline churches. Most people cannot just pick up and go to another church. Those who did leave usually went to another church in the community because their values were in line with that particular church. Tight-knit community. It's hard to change, and Doug wouldn't let anyone go easily.

Even so, we could have left, probably, but where would we go? Where would anyone who currently attends BCA go, if they left? You know as well as I do, how many families in the "community" are desperate to find a place to go. In a way, I don't fault those at BCA who didn't stand up for me. They would have risked too much – their own reputation, their jobs, church, fellowship. You know it's true.

What am I looking for? My goal is, and always has been, to warn others of danger. We have previously considered moving to other "communities," and were extremely grateful to people like the Austins who warned the Reformed community about RC, Jr. and his crew. RC isn't the only one who has whole families pick up and move to be by him. I am here to warn others that something similar could happen to them if they follow a man and his teachings, especially if they don't know what he's really like. I am sending out a warning signal. It is not my responsibility for how people respond to the news, but I am carrying the message. If justice were to be served, if Doug Phillips and those involved were to see their sin in not protecting me, in falsely accusing me, in so many areas, if they actually repent, then that would merely be a bonus for me, but it would still serve my main purpose – to protect others. For, if Doug repents, truly repents, it would follow that his abusive ways would take a 180 degree turn as well. It would be a win, win situation for his followers as well.

This situation has not consumed my life, so I would say that I have already gotten on in life. I will not dwell in the past, but I have a responsibility to fulfill and I shall do my best to bring that to completion. My life is very full with many things, and I do not live in the past. I was not willing to share my story until I knew there was full forgiveness in my heart and that I could proceed with NO bitterness, NO spirit of revenge, and a true desire to only warn others of danger. If you are on the "in" with Doug, you may not understand this, because he is a great guy with his friends, but remember that you were warned if you ever cross him. My heart actually aches for Doug and Beall; we gave them so many chances. I pray for them every day.

The Parable of the Bed

Once upon a time, there was a bed. It was a lovely, grand piece of furniture, but it was still just a bed. The bed served its purpose well and provided many nights of refreshing sleep. Then there was sin. The bed itself did not commit sin, but there was sin that took place in the bed, so the bed needed discipline.

The owner of the bed made a declaration, "The bed shall lose its mattress and all its linens." And it was so. And life for the bed was good.

However, the bed's master changed his mind several years later and decided that the bed had not been disciplined severely enough. A new declaration was made, "The bed shall have a different style of mattress." And it was so. And life for the bed was good once again.

Not entirely satisfied, though, another declaration was forthcoming, "The bed shall be put up on the trading block for auction." And it was so. But weeks passed and no one bid on the bed. And so the bed went back to being a bed again.

A couple years later, the angry master declared, "The bed shall be put out of its misery." But no one wanted the bed that was now 20 years old. It had served its usefulness and needed to be put out to pasture with all the other old beds.

Tired of the ever-changing declarations, the master's wife decided to become a judge and sentenced the bed to immediate execution. The bed was then chopped to pieces.

In its second life, the bed was then reincarnated into a workshop in the garage, while the master and his wife were relegated to sleeping on the floor. The master and his lady were very pleased with the bed's new purpose.

And the master and his lady lived happily ever after – well, after they commissioned a new bed. And life for the new bed was good.

A couple of years later, however, the master was indeed surprised to find that the copyrighted version of his story of the bed had been strangely warped and twisted, and was now being produced without authorization by young men with no scruples for honesty. Knowing the original story had only been told to his spiritual shepherd, the master and his lady were grieved to hear that their ecclesiastical privileges of confidentiality had thus been violated. And life for the pastor was not good.