Feb 12, 2007

Dear Kate

“If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” Romans 12:18

This letter is my attempt to make peace in a very public situation after considerable thought and prayer.

Dear Kate,

Whenever I meet someone, I first try to find something we have in common. Although you don’t realize this, it was very easy for me to find something in common with you, from the first day I saw your blog. You see, I grew up in Oregon also, and so seeing that you live in Oregon, my heart was immediately drawn toward you. In second grade, I lived in Sisters; in third through eighth grade, we lived in Bend; in high school, we lived in Salem; then I worked as a tax collector at the Department of Motor Vehicles right there in Portland for a while before joining the Army. My parents are still missionaries for Wycliffe right there at the Milwaukie office. I am relating these things to you, Kate, because you seem to relate best to personal details. So, from one Oregonian to another, this letter is for my sister in Christ.

Kate, I really don’t know how I have offended you, but my desire is to be at peace with all men (and women), so I am writing this in an attempt to reach your heart. If I have truly done something for which I need to apologize, please leave a comment to this letter and I will apologize.

However, from what I can gather, you seem to think that I am multiple people and apparently have multiple personalities. Please believe me that I have all I can possibly handle with everything going in my real life right now so that I have no need of pretending to be to multiple personalities.

I have left a few comments on your blog, all of which I hope were kind and charitable, and all of which were in my name and with my Blogger account.

I have never called you on the phone, nor have I ever called anyone else online on the phone unless they have written me with their phone number and requested that I call.

Although I cannot speak to the current situation, Kate, I can assure you that I have no unforgiveness in my heart toward anyone, no bitterness, and no spirit of revenge. Sometimes we are called to do hard things, Kate, as I know you understand, and this is a very hard thing that the Lord called me to do.

I do not expect everyone to believe everything I say; that is not my job. I am called to be a messenger and it is fully up to the Lord to work in people’s hearts, including my own. I hope to be able to write someday about how the Lord is working in my life in the last few months.

Kate, I know that you are concerned because of something my daughter said. While I will not excuse her behavior, I do hope that you could try to understand her perspective. Sometimes I think my children were hurt in this far more than I was. Although I can’t really speak to this right now, think of my whole story through the eyes of a teenage girl and try to have some compassion for her.

Kate, I really think that you mean well, especially after the comment you left on my blog. I do not want anyone being hurt because of my story and that includes you. May I suggest that we all slow down and carefully consider what we are saying before we write or say anything? A long time ago, I learned that I should always sleep on a letter before sending it. Maybe that principle would be good to apply to the internet as well.

Your Sister in Christ,

“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Eph. 4:29


simplegifts3 said...

Jen, I looked again at your daughter's comments on that now closed thread on another blog, and I see her wanting to honor a promise she made to you, that she was upset at the people operating that particular blog and her former church situation, and that she very much appreciated the kind remarks that some made to her.

I did see one crass word there, but to tell the truth, that word might have gone through my mind as well if I'd been put through that kind of shunning and rejection for something not of my doing. Though I wouldn't have said that particular word, I would still have thought that was a fitting description of what I'd been through.

Mark said...


This is a very loving way to reach out to Kate. I certainly pray she is willing to allow the Holy Spirit to motivate her to respond with the same amount of love.